Runny Nose Anyone?

For anybody with seasonal allergies, having your nose gunked up with fluids is a messy form of hell. For someone else it is bathroom décor.

Hey, if you really feel like you're missing out on the experience of draining crap out of nostrils, carry on.

If You're Going to Be That Blunt About it

I suppose if you find your hands down your pants before that big meeting you might want to do something about it. This product will eradicate any and all telltale signs of your exploits.

Used regularly, the alcohol content will eventually train your hands to stay off your genitals long enough to function in proper society again.

Get the Carpet to Match the Drapes (Muppet Edition)

If you're really up for fooling folks that your red hair is genuine.

......Or blue. Nothing sexier than a sexy blue crotch bush. Nothing turns folks on more than reminders of blue raspberry snow cones.

Now that a summer treat has been ruined for you, enjoy the rest of your day.

Doubles as a Ritual Scarring Device

The do it yourself movement is alive. Now you can take off all that unwanted back hair (along with the upper layer of skin and possibly a few fat rolls) in the comfort of your home.

At least once the scars heal up you won't have to worry about the hair growing back ever again.