Mankini

Boys, if you're thinking of this the answer is no. Under no circumstances is this an acceptable garment. Not as a joke and certainly not at the beach.

We know you think you're fantastic down there, and string coverings have done wonders for promoting tities. Just stop thinking now. The truth is you're only going to get awkward stares before the police come to get you for indecent exposure.

I rest my case.

You're a Shithead (literally)

 



The only way to do this fashion gem justice is paired with a NASCAR jacket, PBR shirt and your finest pair of painting pants. Socks and sandals can be used to dress the ensemble up for bingo social night, but you don't want to overpower the magnificence of wearing a turd on your cap.

And if the rest of the trailer park starts calling you a little low class it's just that they aren't gutsy enough to plummet to the full depths of trashiness.