Mankini

Boys, if you're thinking of this the answer is no. Under no circumstances is this an acceptable garment. Not as a joke and certainly not at the beach.

We know you think you're fantastic down there, and string coverings have done wonders for promoting tities. Just stop thinking now. The truth is you're only going to get awkward stares before the police come to get you for indecent exposure.

I rest my case.