The Last Frontier of Distracted Driving

This is the perfect gift for the consummate career guy who just can't help but think of all the productivity he is wasting in his commute every day. Texting just doesn't do it, so someone came up with the steering wheel desk to give him almost all the comforts of the cubicle while moving at 60 miles an hour.

Oh, who are we kidding, we all know you're going to spend your time on a game.

"Daddy, look out!"

Swiss Army Knife For Your Swiss Army Knife

Ever in a situation where you needed an allen wrench, a fish scaler and a compass at the same time? Well, just in case, someone put the swiss army knife on steroids.

Of course it does have some con according to the reviews:

I tried to file my nails and I ended up putting a corkscrew through my hand. I put it in my pocket and it circumcised me. I tried to open a can of beans and it chiseled through the can. I tried tweezing my stubble and it clamped on my tongue. I use the allen wrench and it cheats on my wife! I hammer a nail and it marries my cat! It refuses to do anything it's supposed to.

For the price I expect my knife to be sentient.

Why Should the Military Have all the Fun

As featured during the Occupy Wall Street Protests and available to you via amazon:

 

 

No need to wait on the SWAT teams to address rebellious youngsters forming drum circles; this is the 21st century after all. Works well on hippies, students, homeless, and other undesirables prone to inconvenient gatherings in public venues.

 

It is best advised for this product to be used away from smartphones, cameras or other devices with access to the internet.